How I survived college.

My name is Sarah Nor. I was 18 when I felt so messed up with my life. Right after finished my secondary school, I was lost..without friends beside me. I have no idea what to do with my life, NO IDEA WHAT SO EVER what course I was going to apply...and where to apply to... I just couldn't decide on my own. Letters after letters came from different college... I don't really remember from which colleges. anyhow, I was actually hoping for goverment university that i applied as it is cheaper than swasta college.. but, because of my not so good result (SPM) I was turned down. all of my friends already got placing...(govt university, mostly uitm, some went to matrix, some went to form6) all of them.. but me. I felt so ashamed. That's when I have to force myself to go through all that letters from different colleges... and my mom picked it out for me. International Islamic College, IIC... and she also chose the course for me. ACCOUNTING. I didn't know what else to do, so I just go with it.

My secondary friends reaction:
"what happened to ur ROCK style, babe?"
"seriously, hahahahahahaha I didn't expect that from u!!!"
"well, good luck"
in my heart I said... 'FML!'

I was alone. I remembered that 1st day..at IIC hall.. I didn't stay in hostel so i didn't really know most of them who got to know each other because they got the same room at the hostel.., so I was there alone, not knowing anyone. I felt so... alienated. I promised myself not to tell anyone about my past. How many friends I have back then, how many friends betrayed me... how many boys I got a crush on... and everything.. I wanted to stay mysterious. There are a couple of friends I made...on that day.. about 5 of them. I was happy

ok now let me tell u what happened to me from semester 1- semester 8!!

before my semester 1 started, we got a foundation class... and there's a dude got a crush on me.

should I tell his name? no I shouldn't. let's just say his name is Mike (not his real name)...

most of my new friends said he's hot. and they all got shock when someone said he got a crush on me.

I didn't think he's hot. seriously. Mike always find his way talking to me... asked me when was lunch time.. and everything. I remembered he stared at me.... like more than 10 minutes without blinking. haha I was like..."hmm..."

Semester 1.

2 subjects. Intermediate English 1& Intermediate English 2!

I got the same class with Mike. that got him excited... we spent most of the time together, together with all of my girlfriends and 2 of his..... we got like a big group of friends... huhuhu

Intermediate English 1& 2 are quite simple. just basic. so I didn't really have to study like crazy... What happened was I got 4 flat for this semester. I WAS SO HAPPY, I FELT LIKE,so CLOSE TO MY DREAM OF GOING TO STUDY ABROAD, UK TO BE SPECIFIC.

Semester 2.

Things got a bit...shaky. as me and Mike didn't get the same class, I mean he was studying diploma in IT, so we got different subjects. but sometimes, we ate lunch together. and I wasn't being so...helpful either. I didn't tell him what subjects and what time I take them and what day. He got so pissed. He was always late at doing his time table. He thot I didn't like him anymore. it's not that... i just thot... He's not my type and felt like we're not meant to be.. little did i know, i was falling for him... on this semester i took 5 subjects which were Malaysian Studies, Advanced English 1, Financial Accounting 1, principle of microeconomics & business maths... I dunno what's wrong with me, but I couldn't focus studying, especially on microeconomics, it was very hard to understand that subject... and it was probably cuz  I think about Mike a lot. Trying to understand him, is harder...  He was sorta different, he didn't call me as often as he always did before... and so my Cgpa... was nothing close to 4 anymore... it was bad, it was 3.51. but I didn't fail my micro, I got B+ I was a bit upset with myself... I didn't know how to cheer myself up.... I felt like my dream to study to Uk, dissapear.

Semester 3.

This semester was a short one, I took Advanced English 2, Computer application and business statistics... as always can't focus. Mike and I didn't get the same class, and our time clashed. we didn't get to eat lunch like before.. sometimes he called when I was in my computer application class, so I couldn't possibly picked up the phone. so he thot I lose interest. However, I really enjoy my Advanced English 2 class, I LOVE THE MADAM, she taught really well... but I think I disappointed her. I only got A- for her subject. and B+ for my computer application, and B for my business statistic. Business statistics was a bit hard... especially on probability topic, it was quite confusing, but I'm glad it was okay. My cgpa went down again. 3.42. I was feeling low. But this time, I didn't care much about it, all i think about was MIKE. losing Mike certainly matters more than my cgpa on that time, I guess.

Semester 4.

 I was crazy. I took 4 subjects (supposedly 5).. well let's just say something happened. it was between me n my closest college mate, Jasmine (not her real name). Financial accounting 2,Fa2 was hard. especially when the madam was way strict. I was scared of her.. but I didn't study well because.. principle of macroeconomics was hard too... so was principle&practice of management,ppom.. i really hate reading subject. Islamic studies was a bit easy, but I wasn't really there to focus. My thoughts went to Mike. He totally ignore me. no more calls from him. and after my mid sem, he was seen by my friends with another girl. My friends didn't tell me, until that one day, I invited him to eat with us on lunch. They were making fun of him with a girl name 'nadia' (not her real name). I was a bit lost in that conversation, so after the lunch, I had to asked my friend name Lily (not her real name). She confessed to me what she saw..and never wanted to tell me, cuz don't want me to get hurt. I was so pissed off. I just starting to hate her on that day. My brain was exploding, I couldn't focus on my studying at all, I studied last minute. so my result was really bad. I got C+ for my Fa2, B- for my macro, B+ for my ppom & islamic studies, I just stop getting A. My best was just B+. and my cgpa went crazy down. 3.25. I really didn't care about my cgpa... I didn't bother. I was just pissed of with Mike and all of my friends who didn't say a thing to me about what they saw. They only said it, after I asked them repeatedly. I was sooooo angry. Devastated more I call it..

Semester 5.

I decided to go to different classes, didn't wanna be in the same class with them. I couldn't bare looking at them. I met so many new friends... about 5/6 more... which were so much better than my old friends...

I took 6 subjects.. cuz I was crazy. I took Financial accounting 3,Fa3, introduction to finance,itf, intro to e-commerce, cost accounting, foundation of islamic economics,fie, principle of marketing,... I tried my very best. but one day, I saw Mike, with his new girlfriend at business fair. I was torn to pieces, he wouldn't even look at me.. I was...crashed. I couldn't focus. I just could't focus. and My cgpa was bad. 3.16. I was scared I might failed my itf&cost accounting because both of them were freaking tough. but thank god, i didn't fail. I got C+. This semester, I was shocked to see my cgpa was 3.16. I just felt like, if i didn't do something, I might ended up getting 2.8 or something. so I stand up straight. n felt like i need to change. oh I forgot to tell u, I called mike, and asked him why he was with that girl when he once said to me, he wasn't ready for a relationship, and he was asking when we'll ever be in the same class again. and i said, business communication , i was going to take in semester 7. and it was a subject for all the courses.. meaning he can take the same class with me. and he said... "we'll see..."

Semester 6.

I took 3 subjects. coz it was a short semester. I took Accounting info system(ais), financial accounting 4(fa4) and business law. now, let me tell u, i was scared of law..and the topic shares (fa4) and i didnt wanna end up getting C+ again, so I studied really hard, before class, I read the topics, i made notes, and everything,after class, i revised like 100x... and prepared early before exam. and my hard work paid off, i got A for fa4 and business law... but i got B+ for my ais. I didn't study well on that subject anyway.. so that's ok, so my cgpa...for the 1st time ever... didn't go down. but it goes up. I got 3.25. I was happy... victory and hard work never taste this good... I was positive since then. I don't really remember what happened, but there's one time, Mike and I stumbled across each other, and he asked me about the business communication subject. and I was a bit surprise to know he still remember, and i was like "yeah"

Semester 7

after I've confirmed which section I go to, I called Mike up, and said, "take section 3" and he said "ok, " i think he could not do it yet, cuz he didn't do the pre registration. So he has to wait for a special day for people like him who didn't do pre registration. one day.. I think about the 2nd week of the semester, we met infront of college, unplanned. and he said he couldn't take that class coz it was FULL. I felt so...sad. it's like..."we're not meant to be." so I just nod. I took Management accounting (MA) , Fa5, Intro to Takaful, auditing & well business communication... Ma was tough. Damn tough. Auditing was crazy tough too. I hate reading subjects. Takaful was just ok. I was so depressed about Mike, I went to Facebook..and posted crazy things there, and that's when suddenly i saw a hot dude on fb, my friend of friend. His name is Jensen(not his real name) I remembered him. he was the same class with me on fie..semester 5. he was a bit like, in his own world. he's hot. tall. handsome. I liked him. so i add him up on fb. and then he approved. and i saw he's single on his info. so i was like "justice!" I commented on his pix... and then we got really close, and actually we got a lot of same classes together. on Hari Raya, we went out.. to time square. but he had to go home early because of some family thing. then he asked me out again... and the 2nd date we went to time square again and watched... evil i think. and he became my boyfriend since then. I was freaking happy to get my 1st bf ever. hahahahahaha I was like "who need Mike? when my Jensen is way hotter." I started to not focusing on my studies again. I just couldn't care less. I was somewhere else. A lot of my friends hated me for having him. they don't like him. coz they said he's arrogant. i was like "jealous." I got into so many trouble because of him. his past always destroying my mood. but we were still together.. and then 1 day, Mike saw me with Jensen, his face was all red. he was angry. I just smiled at him. My boyfriend was very jealous. I told him everything about Mike. (silly me) and he was just paranoid. he was scared, i might dump him for Mike. I was like... "wtf?" I wasn't too happy with his jealousy. I mean he got a bad past himself. but..he's a good liar tho, he makes me believe every single word that he said. I was blind at first. I didn't know. I was just happy my boyfriend was hotter than Mike and everyone is jealous. so I didn't study hard for my exam. I only study last minute... and got my brain cuckoo! my cgpa, went down the drain again. 3.146! I just didn't care. But I was scared... I didn't wanna get below 3 next semester... but my boyfriend...always wanna hang out with me... I was torn between two.

semester 8.

My last semester. I got very excited to finished my diploma. I took 4 subjects which were taxation, company law, investment and accounting for islamic finance (aifi).. and I thought i wanna be serious like semester 6, but my boyfriend....wouldn't allow me, he always come to my house... hang out... watch movies together... I never had my time out, he called me all the time... it was a bit annoying actually.. and one stupid day, i let him read my diary. and he was pissed to read Mike's name on it. he was like "u still think of him?" blah3... and then it just got worst.... he was tooooo jealous, whenever Mike is at college, and we were there near him, he would always thought I look at Mike without his knowledge. I didn't!!!.and he always thought i was still contacting him. what was his problem, i couldn't tell. he just keep saying, his ex girlfriend cheated on him.. but he wouldn't admit that he's paranoid. one night, he called...and asked me if i had ever loved anyone before him. and i was being too honest, i said, i have. i loved Mike. and he got pissed. he asked again... if  i still love him... i was silence for awhile, then i said no. and he...shouted at me like i said the wrong thing. he was angry...! he said i was lying. then the moment of truth, he asked "so u are with me, just to get over Mike?" and I was...like.....yes mothatrucker yes...(i said in my heart) but i said "no!!! why would u think that?!" and he said "just hear urself.... !!!" and i knew there was going to be a break up. but then i said i was sorry, and he said he forgave me and all. but he was different the next day. on valentine's day he broke up with me. just by texting "im sorry" and changed his fb relationship status to single. and post me usher-separated. he wouldnt pick up the call and stuff. he also post me a song saying that he actually have other girl... he cheated on me. he cheated on me. it was a week before my birthday. he dumped me a week before my birthday.. and also 2weeks before final exam. I was crazy that week... I cried like crazy... but I held my head up high, we were in the same class, but i just keep my happy face... i laughed a lot. i also gave him back all of his sick love letters and all the stuff he bought me. he gave back mine. I hated him. I blocked him on fb. He had once asked to be friends again. and i said no.(he asked on fb..coward!) in real life, he wouldnt even look at me. I hate him.

and then i just study for my final. and so I got A- for company law&investment, B for aifi, and C+ for tax. I didn't expect I get C+ tho, cuz I really thot I was going to fail. but Thank u Allah. n my cgpa, go up a bit. 3.15. I was happy. i knew I was. oh and about Mike, I met him at his Business fair (he took business communication on this sem) and he asked me about Jensen. I said we broke up and all..he explained about Nadia.. and he said he missed semester 1.. blah blah blah... i was just like "yeah whateva."

and then I finished my diploma.

i was really happy.

ha

ha

ha

2 months after dat, i added Mike on fb, and we talked heart to heart...and he said...he love me, but he didn't want to hurt me... cuz of his social life... and btw, he already got a fiance... when he was a kid, i think his parents making him engaged to his own cousin. they said cuz he and her match..and they have feelings for each otherrrr and i was like "oh.." but he said he didn't know what will happen yet, it doesn't mean he's going to marry her... he said he'll change one day... he said sometimes he loves two person at the same time, sometimes 3...and i just felt like saying "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit".. but I didn't say it, trying to be polite. hahahaha

anyway.. this whole post it actually about how i survived college.. but it turned out to be how I survived Mike. but that's ok... I should just say this is how I survived my life in college. how i survived Mike, how i survived Jensen, how I survived friends that betray... just u know, how I survived my college years...

p/s: Fashion in college-

as most of u kno, I do not wear hijab... but this is ISLAMIC COLLEGE. I have to wear hijab, it's freaking compulsory!!! so this was how I look like most of the time...

 This was my business communication attire!! me with my besty.!

the library was pretty ok, It's a great place to do last minute studying... but I hate how the books were not in order... hard to find them!!!

 last minute studying!!! hahaha

 this was during H1N1 season...

(I just realized I didn't take much pix there... hahaha)

not that much of "fashion" huh? hahaha but those were just clothes that i wore...

baju kurung and jubah... pants and tshirt; sometimes.

there was one friend of mine, always like to say I look fat... cuz of my baggy baju kurung... I was pretty upset back then... and there was once I wore a blouse to college, she's like "u lose some weight, huh?" I was like... 

"hmmm..."  I think it was on the same week.. so wtf?!

ignore haters.

haters gonna hate!

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