Bulletproof heart

I've been everything that I HATE before.

I was CONTAMINATED by the PEOPLE-PLEASING disease!

I was POSSESSED and became DESPERADE (boyfriend crisis = boys+boys+boys)

I was STUPID. I was DUMB. I was too MODEST.

I was SCARED of showing people who i really am on the inside..

so I IMITATE OTHERS (friends that i thought cool).

I loved the feeling of being a part of something so I started sharing SECRETS with people that i call friends. I always wanted a friend.. a group... a gang...

I SWORE TO MYSELF THAT I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE ME, AND HAVE ME AS A FRIEND.

AND THAT'S WHAT I BECAME.

A FRIEND.

I was EVERYTHING THAT A FRIEND COULD EVER IMAGINE & EVER HOPE FOR~

I was a FRIEND that everyone WANTS TO HAVE...

and it's all just so people LOVE & ENJOY hanging out with me..

but they DON'T. They DON'T APPRECIATE me.

In fact, they USE WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT ME- ALL THE BAD THINGS (EVERY LITTLE THING) AGAINST ME WHEN I NEEDED THEM THE MOST.

THEY USED ME.

THEY CALL OUT MY NAME, WHEN THEY NEED ME.

BUT!

THEY FORGET MY NAME WHEN THEY'RE HAPPY.

WHEN I'M DOWN, THEY MAKE FUN OF ME.

and that makes me HATE myself even MORE.

i get it now, real friends, accept u for who u are.. and if they can't accept u for who u are... then don't call them ur friends, cuz they never was and never will be even if they tried...

rite now, I just wanna tell u guys that

I HAVE BEEN THERE, I HAVE DONE THAT!

n now, I'm so SICK & TIRED of being SOMEONE ELSE just to please other people,

just to get people to like me...

so SICK & TIRED of EVERYTHING especially the BACKSTABBING!

I HAD ENOUGH! I'M TIRED...

this time, I JUST WANNA BE ME.

SO IF U GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, I DON'T CARE...

IF U GOT SOME GAMES TO PLAY, I REALLY DON'T CARE...

as long as I know that I'm GENUINE,

that I AM ME,

WHATEVER u got to say is just ur PERSONAL OPINION...

and I don't think it will ever BOTHER ME AGAIN.

THANK YOU for ONCE being there for me...

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

I DO.

P/s: hidup mesti diteruskan!